Thursday, 26 February 2015

Midnight Ramblings

Ok well it's not quite midnight, by the time I am finished it will be though. It seems to be the only time I get to myself these days.  I can pretend I am on top of things but who am I kidding - being mum, homeschooler, disability carer and domestic engineer takes a lot out of you. I am not the most coordinated person so juggling is not my forte, but luckily for me I was gifted with OCD to help me organise everything.  

Today was a LONG one.  According to the diary, planner and whiteboard, I had nothing to go out and do.  So why am I exhausted and still going at this late hour of the night?  It's hard, I am happy to admit that.  While I like to channel superpowers from the likes of Wonder Woman (hey who wouldn't want to look that hot!), at the end of the day I am no superhero.  A Warrior Mum yes for sure, but warriors get tired too.
So why write this?  Really just to keep it real.  I get a little over reading how amazing everyone else is, or how they portray their lives to others.  This is me doing my part to the Mums out there having horrible and hard days, that you are not alone, and I have them too and am happy to shout that from whatever soap box you want to kick over to me. 

I sometimes envy the homeschool mums I know who don't have to deal with the added medical dramas we have.  Each week there are Dr appointments, therapies, phone calls to disability departments, phone calls to apply for funding that can take years to eventuate and give you a head of grey hairs in the process (of which you have no time to dye or fit in a hair dresser appointment), paperwork to complete and file etc let alone the ACTUAL caring for the child which is a whole other ball game - or board game in our case as ball games are too hard.  Some days trying to fit in school work or having the energy or head space to even think about it is too much.  

A friend messaged me last week asking was I crazy to add time to my already busy weeks by starting a blog.  Crazy... sure why not?  This is my outlet.  We all need one.  I don't get me time much any more and if I had spare time I'd end up doing housework or more homeschool planning, or grocery shopping or something else on the mum list.  This is an outlet to keep me from over working in the other areas of my life and also not obsessing over other aspects of my life.  So while it's technically more work, it's also my therapy. This is my therapy couch if we are getting all philosophical LOL.

Looking back over this past week, there has been lots of positives, met lovely new homeschool mums and kids, lots of things planned and put in the diary, lots to look forward to, lots ticked off the 'to-do' list, lots of progress.  Been a very hard week too though.  Seeing my son struggle in a lot of pain, dealt with added issues from more assessments (medically) and added more expense to my already thin budget, dealt with frustration of other medical professionals and customer service people, dealt with the nasty side of people from social media, spent nights awake helping my son, had to be the mean mum and make him wear his new orthotics that are causing more pain (for long term gain hopefully) and having a rather neurotic old cat who is going senile and blind, howling all night keeping you from proper sleep.

But at the end of the day, without the hard stuff you don't enjoy the good stuff, so other than a lottery win evading me, I'm doing ok.  Hope I didn't bore you while I unloaded my ramblings. Time to get some sleep and hope the cat tones it down a few decibels tonight LOL.  Goodnight all, especially my fellow Warrior Mums xoxo 

PS. Yes this is really my cat! 

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