Thank you son, I'm so proud!

Today was one of those days where my plans for the day were benched. A close friend needed hugs, a shoulder to cry on and a sounding board.  When she arrived I could tell we needed some Mummy chat time and my son who loves to talk the ears off my friends was excited to have a new set of ears and was keen to start his epic tales.  So I asked him (and bribed him with snacks) to go play in his room, watch a DVD or TV and said that us Mum's needed some private chat time.  

He was perfect, and quiet .... He had a book.  A BOOK! He was laying up on his bed, no TV on, no DVD, no toys, no mess everywhere.  He had a book. Jedi Academy (book 2). Wow that has only ever happened once before (voluntarily picking a book and wanting to read - and read it by himself with no help).

I was able to talk with my friend and was hopefully able to help her through things and be supportive like she always has been for me.  No interruptions, it was nice to have that time to concentrate on her and not be splitting your attention in two. 

When she was leaving he came out to show me the progress in the book.  I was stunned at how far he had read. We had read the first book in the series together and he had loved it. Apparently he wanted to see what happened next so decided on reading the book rather than watching TV. 

He sat and retold the parts he had read.  He admitted he had to read lots of parts a few times each to understand it (he has limited comprehension from reading, but amazing recall from verbal delivery) and knowing that he did that, didn't cry or get frustrated or come out to ask for help was a huge thing and I am so very very proud!  

Thank you son for giving Mummy space today, for showing initiative, for persistence and for doing so well!  Thank you also to the Jedi Academy who obviously have stronger Jedi mind trick powers than I gave them credit for ;)  May the force stick around and be with us for a long time to come! 

Hello, I'm a Bookaholic

Today was full of surprises.  I got a pupil free morning for a start, which rarely happens. So rather than take my 'not so chirpy today' son along with me on my errands, he got to stay at home with his father and I got the car all to myself.

We all know what that means ... LOUD, old, daggy music and lots of really bad singing in the car. My 80's and 90's stuff got some air play and was awesome.  I am sure people were staring at me as I drove past singing to Springsteen.

I was on my way to an Ebay seller to pick up a few DVD's for our classroom.  I arrived and OMG it was also a bookstore - closing down - all books clearing out!  I looked around and thought I need a trolley!  No trolleys or baskets so here I am in my crazed bookaholic state, child free (so NO whinging or needing to make sure he wasn't running off or causing drama), coming off a karaoke car high ..... soooooo many books!  Half way though my rummage, the lovely sales guy mentions that they have no eftpos (Yes he assumed by my growing pile that I was paying with card or credit or my life LOL) so off I head over to the closest ATM.

On my return, I discover that he had realised what I was after and brought out more books from the back room, that 'might be good for homeschooling'.  Really, is it that obvious I am a homeschooler LOL.  I filled two boxes.  Two big boxes.  Beautiful, old, heavy books - with that amazing old book smell.

I scored lots of Australian History, mainly reference books, as well as books on Genghis Khan, Henry VIII, Ghandi, etc. Science books like a Prehistoric Atlas, a few student text books from Jacaranda, ancient history books and even a music book to teach the recorder.  Oh I know I am going to regret the last one but it was too good to pass up!

I remembered the DVD's and found a huge pile of others, all reduced, all great.  I bought them too.

So in the end, I got 27 DVD's and 37 books.  64 items for $95.  Sure $95 is more than I intended to spend but hey, I got change from $100, I got child free, bookaholic time that was totally not planned and those are the best aren't they!

There is one hiccup in my little adventure.  Driving home I realised I am going to need another bookcase - and a magic genie to create room in the house for another bookcase LOL.  Oh well it's a good thing I live so close to Ikea isn't it!

NBTS Blog Hop - Meet The Students

I am taking part in the Aussie (Not) Back to School Blog Hop thanks to Our Worldwide Classroom.  This week the theme is "Meet the Students". 

I homeschool my one and only child, my son, the Warrior Kid.  He is 9, soon to be 10, and studying Grade 5.

He has a long list of disorders and health problems, so life is a challenge for him but one I am determined to help him through. We have more therapy to do this year, more hospital visits and testing to be done but hopefully a better year than the last one. I don't like describing him with his list of disorders but for you to understand why we do things the way we do, our limitations and the celebration of seemingly small success, I will. 

Warrior Kid has Aspergers, Anxiety Disorder, OCD, SPD, Dyspraxia/Developmental Coordination Disorder (DCD), Non Verbal Learning Disorder and Auditory Processing issues amongst others.  Take a breath.  These things impact his learning, ability and social functioning. Physically he has quite severe Joint Hypermobility Disorder causing joint damage, muscle problems and breathing difficulty. We use a wheelchair on the bad days and on the 'lots of walking' days.  He also has a blood disorder that is being further investigated but restricts what he can and can't do especially in summer. 

Despite all this, he is a very clever kid, funny, full of insight well beyond his years.  

This year will be WK's 3rd year of horse riding back at Crowson Park RDA which he is looking forward to.  We have tickets ready for upcoming shows at QPAC that we love going to.  The 'plan' for our annual homeschool adventure trip is to go to Canberra to coincide with his Government studies. We got a great head start with the recent state election! 

The rest of the class includes three fur babies who like to get in on the action.  A 17 year old Mr Cat who is rather vocal and crabby.  A 5.5 year old Miss Border Collie who has higher anxiety that Seth and I combined. And a 5 year old Mr Maremma Sheepdog who is a giant sook and close companion for us both. 

So that's the class of 2015 for you.  Small but a handful!  

An Honest Reflection

They say a journey starts with a single step.  In reality I think our journey into homeschooling, or rather 'Expedition', started with an anxious stumble, a scream, a big breath and an instant headache!

The first year is split between the JOY of no school, the huge wonderful changes in your child and yourself as well as the new experiences you both have ... and stress.  Yep I admit it - I was stressed.

At the start you try to attach yourself to the type of group that seems to suit how you envisage your homeschooling journey should be.  You join Facebook groups and forums where everyone is lovely but are interested in what type of homeschooler you are and what category you fit into and what you should be doing.  You mention your 'tribe' and you become boxed in by it.  You get subconsciously judged for it and you can get very defensive of it.  It's like the playgroup circles all over again but this time your child has a bigger say in who you connect with and why.

I found it exhausting and my first year of homeschooling my son was stressful rather than just exciting. Granted it is a much different kind of stress to that of mainstream school and for a while you think you are stress free and relaxed, only to realise you just downsized the stress - but it was still there, bubbling under the surface. Instead of taking time finding my feet and working out what I liked and what my son liked, I was drowning in a sea full of new homeschooling terms and working out what lifeboat to swim to! Do you stay in your Distance Ed boat doing what you are told, or stick a leg in the Charlotte Mason boat and what about the unschooling boat on the other side?  It was confusing. It was also full of pressure.  Being one of the first in my group of friends to homeschool I was constantly asked for help, information, guidance and feedback. I was happy to help, I know I would have a loved a good friend to help me out when we started, but it was a little like being under scrutiny all the time.  Don't get me wrong, I loved homeschooling and I still do.  My son loved it (which let's face it is the main thing!).  I was proud of what we both achieved and happy to show photos and report on what work we had done and awards he won. I celebrated all the joy we had.  I just felt very much like I had people to please all the time and that brings a lot of stress to your life, even if you don't realise it at the time.

We did a lot that first year.  We were with a Distance Ed school which at the time ran workshops and events.  We went on excursions and joined social groups and tried sports and languages and everything in between.  The second year brought with it the expectation of being able to keep it all up and do more!  I pushed play dates and not only was that hard for my ASD son, but for a mother who also struggled socially, despite me being loud and to seemingly have my shit together, I was never sure of myself. And while my son was so much happier than he was at school, there was something not right with this as well. So many people told us that we'd have to be extra vigilant to 'socialise' my son because he is an only child.  But we experienced more than one Bully in our homeschool socialising and more than one parent who allowed it to happen.  It all got a bit too much for us and my son shut down again, so did I.  It's a community that while vast in distance, is very much a small country town, close knit, everyone knows everyone type of community.  When you are treated badly by a few, you find you can't go to anything without being confronted by the 'few'.  It was hard.

I find with ASD, in my house anyway, we have what I call a two year cycle.  Starts with problems, you change things, you work on them, things go great, you get too cocky and do too much and then it all turns sour. The problems (although different ones) are back and it's time to re evaluate.  Well it was problem time again for us.  We started two years prior with a suicidal child, changed to homeschooling, worked on it and things seemed to be going well, I obviously pushed too much socially and he crashed.  I spent many nights that second year awake in tears.  Mother guilt.  The usual.  The 'I failed' mantra kicks in. And you keep it all to yourself.

I started our third year very differently.  Not only had my confidence grown on the curriculum side of things over the previous 2 years and I was able to basically tell the Distance Ed teacher what I was going to do and didn't ask permission, I also ignored all those who pushed any kind of expectation on us.  I had quit nearly every homeschool group and forum I had belonged to and even some I helped run through our 2nd year.  I had left social groups.  I no longer pushed socialising onto my son.  We had a sheltered year and while many will criticise me for it, it was the best thing I could have done. My son did the one social/sporting activity he liked - once per week, for 1 hour, that was it.  We were still very busy with therapy appointments every day for declining health issues my son has.  We were still with Distance Ed, but I stopped most interactions with them as it wasn't what my son wanted nor fitted in with the hospital and therapy.  I made decisions for us.  I took my time.  I spent 6 months writing my application for HEU.  I let my son finish the year with Distance Ed because for him and his OCD, that's what was needed.  I didn't rush.

We made it.  January 2015 I posted off our HEU application and started on my terms this time. I picked my own combination of curriculum and I think I have probably got a bit from about 10 types of homeschooling I've come across.  So what do I tell people if they ask me what kind of homeschooler I am?  A bloody good one, that's what kind!  Aren't we all?

I have hopes, goals, plans (well planners at least, dozens of them, I'm OCD, of course I have planners LOL) and I have fears, doubts and hurdles (ok not hurdles, this fat lady doesn't jump hurdles, stumbling blocks may be a better analogy).  I feel like we've been on a huge journey already.  A guided tour using Distance Ed, social media and peer pressure.  Now it's time to ditch the tour bus and go off road on our own self guided Expedition!

** Ok Ok 'off road' may not be a great analogy either ... I don't like to rough it/4x4/camp, so ahhhh lets say our own self guided, self booked hotel, Expedition.  Just to be completely honest LOL.  I'm no Princess, I'm a battle worn Warrior Mum - but end of the day I still prefer a castle to a tent!  And so does my Warrior Kid xoxo