Dealing with Disappointment and our JHS Journey.

Not only are "invisible" disorders / conditions difficult for others to see,

 believe, understand and accept, it's also hard for the person suffering (in this case my child) to keep dealing with the disappointment of missing out on a lot, on top of the pain they go through and all the effects of their conditions. 

For years we adjusted to Aspergers and the hurdles ASD put in front of us. We learned how to manage, how to help, how to avoid, how to cope.  We were able to push boundaries and assimilate into everyday situations. We are at the point now where I get those proud mother moments when others comment that they had no idea he has an ASD as he fits in with all the other kids well. All our years of therapy, all our supports and preparations each day help get us through and mean that day to day there is not much my son misses out on. By no means is my son free of ASD or 'cured' (I HATE that word by the way), it's a life long way of life and a life long condition based on a different way of being.

I honestly thought that ASD was the hardest thing to overcome for him and for others to understand but I think his other conditions are harder especially as he is getting older. 

My son's multitude of other 

diagnosed conditions include quite severe

Joint Hyper Mobility Syndrome (JHS)

and a bleeding disorder still in the diagnosis process which like everything

 else usually takes a few years.  

Now many children have hyper mobile joints. Many. They are simply 'double jointed' and more flexible than the average person. It can be fantastic for kids who want to be gymnasts and dancers.  They do not develop any problems from their loose joints. In a way it's a little like the Autism Spectrum in that there is a scale of severity. This is simply called Joint Hypermobility, it is not the syndrome. 

If you wish to find out if you or your children have hypermobile joints, click here to view the Beighton Score test.  If you score 4 or more out of 9 on this test then you have hypermobile joints. My son scores a 9. He is also missing some connectivity between certain muscles to allow him to do independent movements particularly with fingers. Many children on the Autism Spectrum have hypermobile joints. This can be evident by the characterised 'W' position sit that many ASD children do. 

Joint Hypermobility Syndrome 

is where problems arise from the loose joints. Chronic pain and other symptoms including extreme fatigue are two main characteristics of the Syndrome JHS. Most with JHS will go on to be diagnosed with Arthritis and degenerative joint damage. Other things to note is that anaesthetics do not hold as well for JHS patients.

Click here to view a comprehensive document on Joint Hypermobility and the Syndrome JHS.

My son is double jointed and flexible just like those many, many children, but has the chronic problems as well, hence his diagnosis of JHS.  Because the issue of hypermobility is fairly common, people cannot understand or see that the syndrome exists or how it differs from their child or their friend's child who has Joint Hypermobility.

How does JHS impact on my son's body?

 The arches of his feet and his foot structure 'collapse' and they don't perform their roles as they should and look like classic 'flat feet' and rolling in ankles. He wears orthotic shoe inserts to keep his foot structure in a more correct functioning position. Even with this, he struggles to run.  He shuffles and has no spring in his step.  His knees sustain high impact joint damage and he gets pain similar to an aging adult with arthritis. A fall where he lands on his knees can result in dislocation. The average person and even a 'double jointed' person can pick up a bowling ball and bowl a game with no problems. My son can dislocate his fingers picking up a bowling ball and when he goes to bowl can bend his arm backwards at the elbow causing pain. He gets shoulder pain and can dislocate using climbing walls and monkey bars. He gets back pain and even chest pain. 

The only visible clue you might have looking at my son, that anything is wrong, is his awkward clumsy walk or shuffle run, his lack of muscle tone appearing weak, poor posture and very soft pliable (baby like) skin. 

What you don't see is his fatigue. He gets very tired, very quickly and easily.  One of his doctors described it as being like living with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome every day, from the minute you wake up.  You don't see the cramping of his muscles which occurs due to the constant over stretching of his muscles. You don't see that it can keep him awake at night further exacerbating his fatigue. You don't see the pain he suffers when walking for a long time, which for us can be 10 minutes at a shopping centre let alone an outing at a theme park for example. We have a wheelchair we take with us to help. A child over a certain age and size can't be carried, put in a shopping trolley or a pram. You don't see his relief at being able to sit rather than walk.  You also don't see his embarrassment at having to use the wheelchair, particularly if we are around his friends.  He will push himself to the limit and collapse at home to avoid looks or questions or pity. He also resists using the neoprene braces for his knees, elbows, ankles and wrists when out in public.  He needs them when he is hurt but doesn't like others to see them.

You don't see his disappointment when he knows he can't do what others can do or misses out on an outing. Regular 'kid' things my son either cannot do, shouldn't do or struggles to do: 

• Jumping - this causes joint damage and pain. So no trampolining centres, inflatable worlds, backyard trampolines, skipping, etc.
• Climbing - this causes shoulder pain and dislocation risk. So no climbing walls, monkey bars, hand held flying foxes, no pulling himself out of a pool with the hand pull type ladders, no climbing trees or fences, pulling himself up onto a horse. Not only does he lack the strength to do these, he is in pain trying. 
• Riding a bike - the pushing of the pedals is painful and exhausting. Riding a scooter isn't easy either. Pushing with one leg means one leg is getting constant impact with the ground and one leg is bending to allow the other to touch the ground means on a bad pain day that it's not an easy activity. He rides a V-wing type scooter that requires no pushing or touching the ground. 
• Swimming - the constant kicking of the legs and shoulder/arm rotations (think freestyle, backstroke, butterfly stroke) causes pain and a lot of cramping. Cramping when in water can cause drowning. My son suffered cramping in the water from a 20 minute swimming lesson. He has learnt to swim and float and how to get to safety but he will never be a 'squad' training swimmer.  We do hydrotherapy instead. Even trips to water parks can prove hard. As waterslides are found at the top of many flights of stairs. Climbing these steps all day is very painful.  
• Bowling - we use a modified / disability bowling ball and he can only cope with one game. 
• Running - this is very difficult. Most children's games and playing involves running. Whether it be a game of tag, kicking a ball in a football game or seeing who gets to the swings first, they all involve running. My son shuffles at best, is slow, always loses the race or game and is exhausted, puffing, frustrated and upset. Particularly as it happens time and time again and was the cause of bullying at one school.  You don't tend to get called a loser if you aren't jumping on a trampoline with others, but come dead last in a running race and you get called a Loser every time and it's heartbreaking for a child. Add in an uneven surface like sand and the problems get a lot worse. So the beach is not a fun destination either anymore. 
• Fine Motor Skills like Handwriting, using scissors, drawing etc.
• Sitting for long periods.
• Standing or walking for long periods.
• Throwing, Catching, Kicking etc

If you take all these activities out of a child's scope of play, it's hard for them to maintain friendships. Other children do not see anything physically wrong with your child. They aren't confined to a wheelchair so there is no physical cue and reminder that their friend cannot run with them in a game. Children don't really understand when a another child says 'I can't run' or can't run fast or has sore legs. I don't place any blame for this on any child or any parent, it is no ones fault at all. It just is what it is. I am usually the bad guy and the nagging mother, reminding my son to slow down and stop trying to run so he doesn't end up in a lot of pain that night. But at the same time I see his desperate need and want to fit in with the other children playing so it's a difficult balance. 

For us, everything is compounded by the fact that we deal with a bleeding condition on top of this. In summer the bleeding can be a daily thing. We need to stay indoors in air conditioning. Blood loss makes anyone fatigued so on top of his 'normal JHS fatigue levels' it can leave him couch bound wanting to sleep all the time. Summer is when all his friends have a lot of fun. Water parks, outdoor park play, riding bikes, etc. Holidays with lots of time to go out and have fun. We miss out on all of that and through no fault of anyone, friendships drift over those 6 months. Depression often kicks in as disappointment grows at missing all the fun. It can't be helped but it's something we aren't getting over like the issues we faced with ASD. 

Last week my son fell when riding a scooter. He did damage to his knees as well as a little graze on each. To any other child, they would be back to having fun by the next day. For us it means much more.  We had to visit the Dr to check his knees as they both swelled and had an odd shape. To keep from further damage he has to wear his knee braces for a week.  The grazes don't heal well or quickly and easily turn nasty due to his blood issues. Wearing the braces made the sores worse so we have infection issues to deal with as well. One thing impacts another which makes another thing worse. Nothing is easy and everything feels like a drama. Then my son fell again, a few days after the initial fall. Everything is worse and the cycle starts again. People can't fathom how a simple fall and graze of the knees can turn into such a circus and prevent us from doing things for weeks. It's hard to explain without sounding like a drama queen. What's harder each time something like this happens, is dealing with my son's tears when he then misses something he was looking forward to (like an outing this weekend). 

I guess we will get past this too, learn to adapt and now that my son is 10 maturity is helping him not get so frustrated or blame himself for his inability to do as much physically, but the disappointment is hard to see on his face so often. 

Where we live, the weather is warming up and summer is practically here already. This signals the end of our social, active and busy part of the year. It's the start of my endless apologies season which sees me have to decline most invitations to fun play events that are usually all outdoor, physical and beyond my son's capabilities. I hate each time that I have to type our reason for not coming along. I honestly never thought we'd be 'those' people who disappear for months at a time, especially since we managed to get through the Autism issues relatively ok.  But that's us. And that will continue to be us for years and years to come. I just hope that as my son gets older and more mature, and the friends he makes during winter get older and more mature, that friendships survive the absence periods better. For now though, dealing with disappointment and depression seems to be a very large part of this journey we are on and one I wish would vanish. 

Learning about Guardian Dogs - What is a Maremma?

We are getting rather excited in this house. Next week an Australian movie called "Oddball" is going to be showing in cinemas.  It's about a dog called Oddball.  Oddball is a Maremma Sheepdog/Guardian Dog. Most people have never heard of the breed before. 

We have our very own Maremma and he is just beautiful.  They are a very special breed of dog and are more human (and domestic cat) than dog I think.  They are not a common breed and are not a breed well suited to being a domestic pet in the suburbs (please don't think they are just like a Labrador and easy to have as pets - they are a huge handful) so when you end up with one, it's not common to see them around, let alone in a movie, and you get a tad excited.  My son thought other kids needed to know all about them and should watch the movie and so sat with me to help write this post. 

This movie is a based on a true story. Maremma's are being used to protect penguin colonies (like on this movie) and even colonies of bandicoots.  Will be great for the kids to see I think.  We can't wait!  

Movie Trailer for Oddball.

There is a lot of information about the Middle Island Maremma project online and well worth some investigation if you'd like your children to learn about it before seeing the movie.

Click here to read an article about the story and the movie.
Click here for the Projects Facebook Page
And Click here for more information on the project.

This is a link to click for information on the Bandicoot Bodyguard project using Maremma Guardian dogs.
 

How is a Maremma different to other dogs? 

They are bred to be livestock guardians. 

They are instinctively protective of their flock. They don't round them up like a cattle dog or a Border Collie. They guard them.  If you put them with chickens, sheep, alpaca, goats, etc then they guard them becoming part of the flock.  They live out in the fields, are nocturnal and sleep during the day and are alert and on watch at night for predators. They also take on behaviors and traits of the animal they are bred to guard. A regular dog either squats (female) or raises its leg (male) to urinate.  A Maremma just stands, legs spread a little wider than normal, and urinates just like a sheep would.  Their tail hangs straight down like a sheep's does too, only raising up in a defensive position when alerted. They have thick fur that when left out in the elements resembles a sheep's fleece from distance. They are difficult to spot in a flock and this camouflage helps surprise predators. 

A Maremma and his flock.

What happens when you have a Maremma as a pet? 

Well the family becomes the flock. Your other pets also become part of their flock.

If you have other dogs they will then wag their tail. Our boy doesn't wag unless he is happy and wanting attention, which is when our other dog wags the most.  He learned to do this as was around 6 months old before this behaviour was adapted.  We also have an old cat.  So our Maremma will lick his paws and clean his face and ears just like the cat does. He will sleep where the cat does and in the same positions. Often waking, looking to check the cats position then copying and going back to sleep.  He will allow the cat to interrupt his dinner time and allow the cat to eat from his bowl while he waits patiently for him to leave so he can resume and eat what is left. 

Little and large 'cat' balls. 

My son is who he is most protective of.  When we are doing school work he will follow us to where ever we are to sit and keep watch.  Each time my son moves, the dogs eyes follow.  He will sleep but as soon as my son fidgets or moves, gets up, makes noise etc, the dogs eyes open to check all is ok.

Homeschool in session with student and companion.

It all sounds very cute, and boy oh boy do they look even cuter, but there are things to be careful of.  If we go to a park we will muzzle our boy.  Why?  Well I once read a great description of a Maremma, which said "Friendly with family, wary of strangers".  It is so very true.  I would trust him with my life and to protect my son without hesitation or concern. But I know his job is to warn off others. If it was just myself and the dog he is open to being given a pat (after looking to me to check if I will allow it), but if my son or our other dog was approached by other people or other dogs, the protective nature kicks in and he will growl and bark and assert his dominance. Due to his large size, people can get very frightened by a dog barking wanting to come towards them and standing so tall. He will position himself in front of my son where he can. Always on guard. 

Our Holiday photo - My Maremma 2yrs, my son 7yrs, my Collie 3yrs 

In most breed information documents, they are described in the 'Giant' size range (think St. Bernard, Great Dane) with weight ranges for females between 30 - 45kgs and males between 40 - 70kgs (our boy is 55-60kg depending on the seasons), and average standing height of 75cm. In an Australian summer we get our boy clipped (as seen in the above photo) but in winter they have a very thick double coat which can add a lot of weight to them (and width LOL).  When they stand up on hind legs, like at a fence to see over, they can easily look down on someone 6 ft tall. 

My Maremma and my Border Collie as 10 week old pups.

The above photo shows you the difference in size between our Border Collie and our Maremma. Both photographs were taken at 10 weeks old.  Trust me when I say the food bill is not small.

Cuddling his pillow just like his boy aka my son.

They sleep a lot. They are not a high energy dog. As mentioned earlier they are more alert and awake at night and are described as nocturnal so sleep a lot during the day.  If you are not on a farm leaving them outside with a flock, and are in the suburbs where you and your family are their flock then do not leave them outside at night if you want to get any sleep.  They will bark at every sound to warn you.  If you have them inside where they can see you peacefully sleeping, they will sleep soundly inside and possibly snore LOL. They will also copy your sleep positions and demand a pillow to cuddle as pictured above LOL.  Having a child with ASD and other medical conditions, he is up a few times a night for various reasons. I am alerted at night to any stirring or waking of my son by my Maremma barking to wake me.  He will bark to wake me if the power goes off, if the other dog needs to go outside or any strange activity in the neighbourhood that even the dogs at those homes don't hear.  

However don't confuse 'not a high energy dog' who sleeps a lot, with easy.  They get very bored if left alone in a backyard. They need a companion or something to guard. As we homeschool, he has us around a lot to guard. When we are out he has our other dog to guard. You will often find him patrolling the perimeter of the backyard, pacing the fence line every hour to make sure all is safe on the home front. 

They are Italian (Cane da pastore Maremmano-Abruzzese) in heritage and similar breeds include the Pyrenean Mountain Dog (or Great Pyrenees) from France, the Kuvasz of Hungary, the Tatra of Poland and the Cuvac of Slovakia.  

If your children would like to see another movie starring one of these lovely dogs, check out:
Santa Buddies
The Search for Santa Paws
Santa Paws 2 - The Santa Pups

My Maremma wearing his Santa hat well.

  All three of these Disney Santa Paws movies have a Great Pyrenees as Santa Paws and Puppy Paws (they have bigger/lower hanging jowls on the face).  It is actually also a good way for children to see the differences between a Labrador pup and one of these breed of pups. Actually it will help you too. So many of these pups are sold in pet stores as Labrador or Golden Retriever pups as they can look similar to the untrained eye. But 3 months down the track you have a much larger handful than you bargained for.  It is for this reason that so many are handed to shelters and need to be re-homed. Maremma Rescue was established to help with re-homing these amazing animals and to help with educating the public on how to care for them. 

I hope this blog post has given you some knowledge on the Maremma Guardian dog if you didn't know much about them before.  My son is happy that I wrote this with him anyway so from that perspective it's been worth writing.  I hope you get the chance to watch Oddball the Movie too and learn about the amazing project on Middle Island off Warnambool in Victoria, Australia. 

My big sooky beautiful 'baby' of the family. 

Homeschooling is Better for MY Health

Almost every article or blog you read about the benefits of homeschooling, list a multitude of positives for the student, sometimes the family unit as a whole and about your lifestyle.

Most are written by parents, like myself, who recognise everyone else and the benefits to them and forget to explain how beneficial it is to us.  

I remember the 'me' who was taking my son to school everyday.  A place my son struggled to be in, struggled to function in. A place my son fell apart in.

I remember 'me' as being a complete emotional train wreck.  

I was extremely sleep deprived.

I was on the verge or tears ALL THE TIME.

I was stressed beyond any level of stress I thought was possible.

I was depressed.

I was extremely anxious.

I was heartbroken at what my son was going through.

I felt completely helpless and hopeless. 

I smelled like either vomit or disinfectant after cleaning up my son's daily anxiety vomiting.

I was exhausted from being at school with him all day helping him, then going home with him and copping the brunt of massive meltdowns.

I was angry.

I felt completely let down by school and felt belittled by staff.

I felt defeated after fighting so many battles, over and over again. 

I felt I'd let my son down and was a failure as a mother because he became suicidal. 

He was broken.

I was broken.

Amid all the feelings I went through when I pulled my son out of school and over those first days, weeks and months at home, one was relief. Pure relief.

Relief that in our decision to remove him from school, I would have my son back, I would no longer be dealing with school, with teachers, with school parents, with school run, with daily meltdowns, with daily vomiting, with anything.  Relief that we were back in control and we could do this better than any system ever could. Relief that I had a second chance. 

Over the years, through our changes with curriculum and learning styles, social ups and downs, my son's medical rollercoaster and life in general, I have found that the benefits to my overall health to be huge. 

I have considerable and complicated physical health issues and I recognise that I would be much worse off if I was still dealing with school.  The fact I can rest and recover from physical setbacks while homeschooling is a big plus.  I am not struggling with schools runs and vomiting and meltdowns.  I have a child who can learn with me while sitting next to me in bed.

My emotional and mental well being are being looked after too.  Sure we all have bad days and down times when dealing with life's curve balls (like our recent period of being out of work). Financial stress is always a big issue, but that would be there regardless of our education path choices.  But really looking at it, I have never gotten to the low point that I was at during those school days.  I do recognise that I have high anxiety and I deal with that, but it's not to the degree it once was.  I find homeschooling assists me with managing it as I am not as stressed and have time to breathe.

I find peace through the day.

I still have that pleasant sense of relief every day when I wake up.

I wake up after actually getting some sleep!

The only time I smell of vomit is after a tummy bug goes through the house and that's maybe once a year.

I am not angry.

I am not depressed.

I am not helpless or hopeless or heartbroken.

  I have my spirit back.

I can laugh with friends.

I have my Warrior Mum attitude back and can tackle issues when they arise and when my son needs me to dig my heals in and fight for him. 

I am not defeated and I do not let people belittle me.

I am stronger.

I am better.

The changes that homeschooling has made to my life, to my health, make this choice worthwhile.  If I am better, happier, healthier, then surely I can be a better mother, teacher and role model for my child.  

Many people have said that if my son was at school I would have time to rest and it would be better for my health.  They can't see that the school issues were making my problems 100 times worse and by eliminating them, we all benefit. Sure my son is home and with me 24/7 but he is calm and happy and will play, read and do work quietly, especially on days I am not well. That gives me true peace and the ability to rest rather than if he was at school which would be a few hours child free where I am still stressed and worried about him. 

The child I have now, is NOT the hard to handle child I had all those years ago.  I guess what I am saying to the struggling parents reading this, is that while you might have a difficult child and don't think your health could possibly cope by homeschooling, you might be in fact making things harder for yourself and your child by not giving homeschooling a chance.  School will always be there to go back to if you find it's not working well at home, but just don't rule out homeschooling altogether because you have health problems. 

I'm just putting this out there, because we forget to look at ourselves.  We as parents make decisions and think of everyone else.  We ask ourselves is it the best thing for them, can we afford it, etc.  Most don't think to acknowledge if it would benefit them as parents.  I look back and know my decision was based completely on what my son needed and not what was best for me, but I am happy to report it's been the best thing for me too! 

My recent 'aha' moment came when I was going through days of high anxiety and dealing with too much.  Once again we were dealing with unemployment, too many bills, a broken government department offering no help and I was starting to crumble.  As I sat there, upset, I thought wow at least I can sit here and have a cry and crumble a little.  I can stop and breathe and go back to bed if I need to. I don't have to rush to school or deal with all of that.  I can take the time to deal with this, we can take a break from school work and de stress.  We can get through it without me falling into a completely broken heap.  I have the freedom to breathe and to deal with my anxiety and overall this is better for my state of mind.  

Homeschooling has given me that and I am forever grateful. 

Review: Australian Organic Schools Website

For anyone looking for a fantastic curriculum addition to teach their child all about gardening and organics (and covering subjects like Science, Health, English etc) - then check out the Australian Organic Schools website. 

Firstly - it is FREE !!!!! 

As a Homeschooler, sign up as a Teacher.  Once you have logged in, in the Teacher section, scroll down to "Your school garden" and click on it. You will then see 7 units: 

• Unit 1 – Let’s get started
• Unit 2 – Creating healthy soil
• Unit 3 – Planning your garden
• Unit 4 – Planting and mulching
• Unit 5 – Caring for your garden
• Unit 6 – Garden friends and pests
• Unit 7 – Propagating and seed saving

When you open/click each unit, you will be able to select from:

Background Information, 

Lessons and Activity Sheets, 

and Extra Resources.

  The activity sheets even have a page with solutions (answer page) which is extra helpful for us parents!

I will warn you - if you decide to print out everything in each Unit .... it is a LOT of printing.  It's fantastic though so I printed it all for a folder. 

I was expecting something very basic but what I found was very comprehensive!  Everything from bees to compost, ph levels to pests, protection from the elements and weeds.  As a parent, this taught me a lot and will be our 'go-to' guide.  Honestly I can't express just how much I LOVE this website and these units.  Don't just have a quick look, open the links and read the pdfs.  The amount of information in them is great, they are set out so well and are easy to read and follow. In some units there are even links to videos for the kids to watch. 

Even if you are not a green thumb, there are some great resources to add to your kitchen files.  My favourite print out is the "What's in Season?" file which you can find in the Canteen section.  I also love the Traditional Remedies and Organic Pest Control files which you will find in the Teaching Units (Unit 6, in the Extra Resources section).

I just wanted to add that this review is not a paid review. It's just a personal review of a product we love and have found useful and which I think more people need to know about! 

Hope you love the website as much us we do! 

Back to Basics

When we think about what our children

need to know to grow into well adjusted, functioning adults,

we think of not only their education but their life skills.

One thing that you will notice from generation to generation, is that many of these life skills are getting lost.  For example most of us parents know how to use a washing machine but when it breaks most of us cannot fix it. We spend money calling the repairman or just buying a new one. We end up driving to Laundromats to wash rather than washing by hand.  Our Grandparents would have hand washed and not thought twice about it.  As parents we teach our children to use a washing machine but very few think to teach their child how to hand wash, or basic maintenance for a washing machine. 

When it comes to cooking, the skills we pass on as generations pass, involve learning to use more and more gadgets. Our recipes change to reflect this too. What happens when our children leave home?  I doubt many can afford all the appliances we all use these days.  It's all well and good to marvel at the convenience of a Thermomix when you have one and use it, but it's also doing a disservice to your children who grow up not learning how to cope and cook with just a set of basic pots and pans. Quite ironic when most parents claim to use a Thermomix or gadgets as time savers to spend more time with their children. Maybe the best way to spend that time with your child is to be in the kitchen together cooking with good old pots and pans. 

It's for this reason, that I want my son to learn 'Back to Basics' life skills.  

I want him to be able to function when he starts out living on his own.  I want him to save money by cooking rather than eating take out food.  Cooking using the basics like a few pots, pans, utensils, toaster and kettle.  Washing dishes without a dishwasher. Washing clothes by hand if he needs to. Scrubbing the floor without a steam mop. Mending clothes without throwing them away over a missing button. Changing the oil on the car and basic car maintenance. How to catch a fish and grow vegetables. How to use basic tools, mow the lawn, and replace a tap washer. 

We might be raising children who will live in a new amazing world with more technology than we could ever dream of, but until they can afford to buy that technology themselves, they need to survive using basic life skills. 

Don't get me wrong, I'm not expecting my child to get up each morning and milk a cow to be able to have milk on his breakfast cereal.  I'd like him to understand the process though and respect where his milk comes from.  I just think it's important to teach the next generation with knowledge from past generations.  

Too often we get caught up with how to educate our children for jobs that don't exist yet in fields that haven't been dreamt of yet. What we forget, is that all jobs that will be created are done so from a need in the present or past. So won't it stand to reason that if a child has been educated and taught life skills from present education curriculum available and life skills from generations past and present, that they will have a great foundation which they can build on?

'Back to Basics' skills will never 'go out of style' or not be useful. 
It's an advantage to give our kids this foundation.  

So when my son leaves home and is apartment/house hunting, he won't be hung up on needing an expensive one because it comes with the much needed dishwasher. He won't spend a fortune on expensive cooking gadgets and cleaning appliances.  He can save money for his future by putting in some hard work, doing things himself, the 'old' way', not needing to call a repairman, mechanic or mowing service.  
Instead he can call and invite me over and cook me a nice dinner LOL. 

Medieval Inspired Photo Timeline

Every year we attend the

Abbey Medieval Festival

at Abbeystowe

(Caboolture, Queensland, Australia)

Each visit the festival is better than the last. Each visit my son learns more, asks more, takes more time planning his outfit and deciding on which weapons to take. Each year I look at the photos and see how much my little warrior has grown and changed.  Each year I see those changes (the good and not so good) with his Aspergers and other issues and see how they effect his day and his mood.  I forget sometimes till I look at photos, that the journey hasn't always been smooth sailing.

I was going to write a review. 

I was going to talk about the festival and tell you how amazing 

it is and that you should all go along if you can. 

But you can visit their website and learn all about it, 

check out their Facebook page etc. Sometimes it's best to visit with no expectations from a review and just be blown away by the atmosphere and see it all with fresh eyes.  So I will leave that for now.

I think after taking a trip down memory lane and looking through my photos, this post morphed into my own Medieval Timeline .... of my son's journey over the years.

From a fearless 3 year old conquering a hill ... 

A hyperactive, loud, wide eyed boy who was certainly a handful.

To a 4 year old with an axe and an attitude ... 

A challenge for us with the discovery of Autism Spectrum Disorders and all that that entails.

To a 5 year old starting to explore and ask millions of questions.

The start of his first official year of schooling (Prep). The start of bullying and a lack of adequate help at school.

A 6 year old winning battles and gaining confidence ...

A new school, lots of therapy, new strategies. Hope for improvement with lovely teachers but a struggle still, and more bullies.

Then a very lost 7 year old. 

A boy who at the start of the year (still 6) had wanted to end his life and spent the school day in tears, hiding under chairs, running away and miserable. A boy who vomited daily before school. A boy who I removed from school to homeschool and to help re build.  These photos break my heart. I can see the anxiety, the missing smile, the need to hide under a hood or behind a cardboard helmet. The broken spirit.  We had a lot of work to do that year to get our boy back.

As an 8 year old we saw not only a new colour but a new outlook. Homeschooling was the key and the best thing we ever did. The smile came back, a guarded smile but it was there. No hiding. Willing to take part in life again. He was growing. The depression was gone. He was able to deal with changes including a change to a new colour (hello Red and goodbye Brown!!!). 

Age 9. Everything was looking up on the Aspergers side of life. However my little warrior then hit more hurdles.  The physical problems he'd had since he was a toddler and which had grown worse each year, had become so hard that the year was spent in a lot of pain, with extreme fatigue and reliant on a wheelchair for outings. This was the first year my boy asked to stay at home despite it being one of his top 5 days of the year (up there with his Birthday, Christmas, Easter, etc). It was a very difficult year.

Later that year we went on a trip interstate and attended a Kryal Castle, a Medieval themed attraction, to make up for missing his favourite festival.  It was a good day that day. Little pain, no wheelchair needed and the warrior was back in action!

This year he was an Archer.  My big 10 year old.  The confidence is back. The enthusiasm is back.  Maturity has kicked in. He is tall and wearing a men's tunic.  We still needed the wheelchair this year, but not for the whole day.  He is learning to cope with his physical issues and manage his pain. This is my happy, social, talkative, inquisitive, funny young man.  Dealing with and overcoming his hurdles.  Loving his homeschooling. 

It's not till I take the time to reflect and compare photos 

that I see the huge differences, the ups and downs.  One day soon I 

might get around to doing a review of the actual festival, but I hope you don't

 mind that today I was a little distracted by memories and 

thought I'd share (even if just for me to come back and look at)

 a little photo timeline. 

Embracing Surrealism with Pancakes!

They say Homeschooling Parents can find an educational angle in anything their child does.

How true!

My son has been participating in an Art Class this past term and the topic all term has been Surrealism.  Each week they'd learn about different styles and techniques and really got the kids to look outside the conventional norm when it came to art.

So I just loved, that when making pancakes the other day, my son took great delight and challenge in finding the 'pictures' within the pancakes as they cooked.  He turned them this way and that and really took on board what he had learnt.  

So can you see what he saw? 

Can you guess what he came up with? 

He found: 

A girl (side profile as you can see the nose, mouth, chin) with long brown hair, wearing headphones and listening to music. The squiggles are cartoon like representing the music coming from her headphones. 

He found: 

A meteor burning up as it approaches the earth.

He found: 

A headshot of a horse or sea horse (he likes horses best so wants it to be a horse but says the nose is too narrow so must be a sea horse LOL)

He found: 

A love heart. 

Lucky I was quick with the camera as these did not last long!  

Why I Don't Want to Convert Everyone I Meet to Become a Homeschooler.

I really do not want everyone to homeschool. 

Not because I don't believe in it - I do, it's the best thing we ever decided to do!

Not because I don't think you are capable - you are, even if you don't realise it.

My reasons are varied and possibly even a little selfish.

You see, if every parent homeschooled, then it would be like going out in public on the school holidays LOL  Children everywhere, loud and noisy, busy and overwhelming. The things that my son can't handle and the reason homeschooling works so well for us.  The homeschool groups would be so jam packed full that we wouldn't be able to attend.  

On school holidays we hibernate and avoid shops and parks and all things kid friendly.  We almost rejoice when it's back to school time because we are then free to enter the world and explore in peace again LOL.

Don't take it the wrong way, I love all my friends and their children who go to mainstream school and I love seeing them, but there is a very real reason why school doesn't work for my child and too many people making noise is one of them.  

I will always answer all the questions asked of me about homeschooling and I will always share all our experiences and how positive it's been. I will even suggest a struggling parent look into it when things aren't working out well in school. But I'm not going to push someone. I'm not going to tell them that homeschooling is the best and only choice to make. For us it was, but for many it is not. Simply because homeschooling is not for everyone. It is not for everyone's child, for their family unit, for their financial situation, for their own sanity even!  And that's OK! 

I get disheartened at the "us verses them" mentality that gets around where everyone is out to discredit other methods and promote their own choice. When it happens and I am judged I will surely stand up for our choice and dispute false claims. But I don't make it my mission to create the hate.  You see I think that it's great that you love what you chose, but someone else can love the opposite choice too without anyone getting into an argument. Many children thrive in mainstream schooling. I'm glad they do! I'm glad they go to school and I'm glad mine doesn't! 

I'm glad that in my country and many others, that we have options and can choose the method of education that suits our families needs.

I've been asked why I would bother 'spreading the word' about homeschooling to others, if not to convert them to it.  

For me, it's simply about awareness.  

Awareness of what's not considered the 'norm' breaks down misconceptions and removes judgement and negativity. For years I spread awareness for the health issues my son and I have been through and in the last 5 years have seen huge changes to public perception of Autism Spectrum Disorders.  I truly believe that creating positive awareness results in understanding and acceptance - no matter what the issue. I want homeschooling to be understood, accepted, welcomed, valued and not feared, judged or discredited. That's why I talk about it and share our experiences. 

So while I am a homeschooler and will post all over my social media pages about homeschooling, to share how great it is for us, to promote awareness and NOT to convert the masses, in the back of my mind I'm thinking hhhmmmm .......

I'm glad not everyone home schools.