The Magic Age For Us Was 10.

When you have a child who struggles to read, who has learning disorders, who is behind all his peers .... well you do what everyone tells you to do.

You try every 'learn to read' method there is.

You push reading at every opportunity.

You encourage.

You praise.

You live and breathe phonics. 

and you don't get very far.

You end up with a child who HATES reading and to be very honest, you end up hating it yourself.

At 7 years old, when we first started homeschooling and I realised how far behind my son was and how bad his reading skills were, I was adamant that my son would learn with my help. 

At 8 years old we were not much further along in our progress.

At 9 I think he was worse as he'd developed such a hate for reading.

I honestly thought we would never get there.  I remember a few mothers (the minority) had said just to relax and leave it. That at around age 10, particularly for boys, something clicks and they will start to read on their own.  I remember reading their comments and thinking no, I can't wait, what if he gets to high school age and still can't read because I waited.  I remember thinking I knew best as my son had learning disorders and surely if that was dealt with then reading would flow.  It didn't.

I should have waited.

I ignored the best piece of advice given to me.  

The one I am going to give now to all those mothers out there who are pushing and rushing to get their kids to read. 

Just wait.

Wait till they are ready.  It does happen!  

Age 10 this year for my boy.  He matured.  He mellowed a little and something clicked. He actually had an interest in a series and wanted to learn to read it.  And wow did he pick it up fast and get into reading in a big way!  In the first 5 months he read 10 chapter books.  That for us was HUGE.  Then he had been given a series of 60 books and decided to read them (or I was giving them away).  Between Mid-July and early November he read ALL 60 BOOKS!  All chapter books with 10 chapters each.  I am still blown away.  In just this past week he has read 6 large novels.  

It happened!  When he was ready.

I look back and think OMG the stress I put on myself and on my poor boy for all those years when we could have been having fun with our school work.  So what if I needed to read every question to him.  I was sitting right next to him anyway.  No teacher is sitting there to see.  No peers are there to notice.  Why was I so pressured into keeping up with others.  I regret not listening to those mothers.  

In the last month, I have seen other mothers of children aged 10-12 who have all of a sudden started reading.  It was so exciting to read of their interest and success.  I realised that just because some of our children take longer to start reading, doesn't mean they will forever be behind. 

So to the mothers of children who are young, who hate reading, who struggle with reading and who you think will never get there ..... chill out.  Stop pushing the reading issue, stop making life all about reading and putting pressure on yourself or your child.  Just step back, let go of the control and make alternative plans (and supports) with your child's learning path until they reach the point where it all just clicks one day.   

Most of you won't, you will do what I did, and then look back and think aaahhhhh yeah! 

I look forward to reading your blog posts when it happens LOL.

 I wonder how many of you find that 10 is the magic age for your child too.

Intuitive Learning and The Indigo Child

As Homeschool parents we all get to that stage of trying to define what kind of learner our child is.  Are they visual learners, or do they learn best with workbooks?  Do you have a verbal learner or a kinesthetic learner? 

We explore learning styles, learning methods, look at our children's strengths and weaknesses and our teaching strengths and weaknesses as well. We decide if we are classical homeschoolers, unschoolers, or fit somewhere in between. 

However most of us, especially those of us with children with disabilities, learning disorders or on the Autism Spectrum, overlook another option / explanation / style which might just explain a LOT and open the door for learning. I think for many of us, we just assume that because our children are different, that we need to modify the styles that are already out there, or combine many. That our child's learning style is just a modification of the others out there.  We stop looking.

Have you ever heard of an Indigo Child ? 

I had heard the term but never bothered to look into it. 

Well today I was prompted to look into what an Indigo Child is. 

I was looking for ways to help my son and explain some things to him. I had been up through the night easing his worries and wiping his tears as yet again he had been upset while dreaming of what he describes as himself in the past in another body. You see my son has always been highly spiritual, always had a strong identity, an old soul who spoke like someone with lifetimes of experience, would talk about his past lives (often in great detail) and dream about them often, is highly imaginative, he talks about his spirit visitors, is very empathetic and sensitive. 

I often need to look outside the square when trying to help him. Now I totally get him and we are very in tune BUT I am his mother and I learned a long time ago that this special kid of mine was one who needed research to help explain things. I was quite surprised to find my research (children who talk of reincarnation) led me to Indigo Children and described my child so very well!  And for once it was nice to research something other than medical/special needs topics.  Through this research I have found myself rethinking our learning style, my teaching style, confirming why we do some of the things we do and recognising what kind of learner my son is.

I read a lot of articles and blogs on the subject. Some were rather left of centre and parts of the articles I disregarded as many drifted into the realm of strange LOL, but there were parts I identified with completely.  I read one blog post by Pia's Heart called "Indigo Children and Aspergers" that had a paragraph which described my child so well (who has Aspergers), even down to his high light sensitivity!  Pia writes,

"Indigos have above average intelligence, are emotionally sensitive, intuitive or even psychic, and generally feel different from those around them. They have an aversion to bright lights, and are highly sensitive to sounds, pain, and extreme temperatures. They know they belong here just as they are , and they expect you to know so as well. They are born knowing and feeling that they are special, and they want to be revered. Indigo children have a higher sense of self-worth and confidence. They do not work well with rigid authority and archaic systems; they believe everything should be given creative thought. Indigo children are very focused on matters of spirituality and things of metaphysical nature. They are considered system-busters, because they often have insightful and better methods than those in place for years now."

It made me look further into the topic and I then found the website:

Teaching Indigo Children. 

This is based on a classroom approach but can be easily adapted for homeschooling.  This site lists profile characteristics as well as teaching methods in the "Mind" section, it explains health, learning disorders and the physical side in the "Body" section and then lists the some amazing insights in the "Spirit" section which really helps understand these children so very well.  If you are keen to learn more then please check out this website, I highly recommend it and it is one that I have now bookmarked on my favourites list. There is a sources section and a book review on "Empowering Your Indigo Child" pictured below. 

Characteristics of an Indigo Child:

Listed below from http://www.mindopenerz.com/are-you-an-indigo-11-traits-of-indigo-children/

1. May be strong willed independent thinkers who prefer to do their own thing rather than comply with authority figures/parents.
2. Have a wisdom and level of caring beyond their youthful experience.
3. Traditional Parenting and discipline strategies don’t appear effective  with these children. If you try to force an issue, a power struggle is the typical outcome.
4. Energetically, Indigos are vibrating at a much higher frequency so they can get scrambled by negative energy (human or machine)
5. Emotionally they can be reactive and may have problems with anxieties, depression or temper rages if not energetically balanced
6. Are creative right brain thinkers, may struggle to learn in a traditional left brain school system
7. Often Indigos are diagnosed with ADD and ADHD since they appear impulsive (their brain can process information faster) and they require movement to help keep them better focused
8. Indigos are very intuitive, and may see, hear or know things that seem unexplainable.
9. Indigos have more problems with food and environmental sensitivities, since their system is more finely tuned
10. When their needs are not met, these children seem self centered and demanding, although this is not their true nature.
11. These children have incredible gifts and potential, but they may be shut down when not properly nurtured and accepted

Some random information I found and thought was good to share is that the term 'Indigo' references a few things, one of which is that it is the colour of the Brow Chakra, which is said to be the centre for thought (well duh LOL), vision and psychic knowledge. 

If, after looking at the links I have listed, you feel you are an Indigo child or have an Indigo child, the following link will help explain the type you are depending on your generation / year of birth.
http://www.learning-mind.com/do-you-belong-to-one-of-the-five-indigo-generations/ 

My son belongs to the Omega Generation: 

"Omega generation: 

Children born from 1998 to 2008 belong to the so-called Omega indigo generation. Supposedly this is the last “pure” indigo generation. Children born in the Delta and Omega period, are also called Crystal Children because of a particularly bright, crystal color in their aura. 

These children are particularly vulnerable to various dermatology problems, allergies and diseases (especially to those of upper respiratory tract due to high environmental pollution). 

Also a large proportion of them is characterized as autistic or suffers from the Asperger syndrome. Autism in children is a way of self protection from attack and neurosis of the outside world."

The fact my son has a diagnosis of Aspergers Syndrome as well as ADHD and a multitude of learning disorders, all which are mentioned in articles for Indigo children, really makes you stop and think about the bigger picture.  

So after much thought (and reconnecting with my own spiritual side) I have come up with a new learning plan for us. I call it:
"Intuitive Learning"

• Allowing my child the freedom to do the work the way he feels works best for him. For example when he does Mathematics he often goes outside the square to work out a problem and doesn't follow the 'method'. He always gets things right and always makes a lot of sense but I've always insisted he 'follow the rules' and it frustrates him and we end up at a stand still. So long as his working makes sense and is right, I am letting go of some control.
• Give positive 'Do' list rather than a 'Do not' list as they are sensitive and will dwell on negatives.
• At the start of work, give examples of required outcomes (visual) or detailed explanations (verbal or written) to alleviate anxiety.
• Explain rather than tell.
• As they are perceptive and intuitive, there is no trying to convince them or pull the wool over their eyes to get them to do something when they don't want to. So either re visit it later, re work it into a way they do want to learn it or take on board the child's views. They are stubborn and value respect and integrity. If you approach them with those things then 'instruction' should go more smoothly.
• Allow them to deviate from the plan. Let them use their intuition and if that takes them in a different direction, then see where it goes. For example we have found that during his music lessons he likes to use part of the sessions to create and write music rather than learning to play the instruments. When he writes, he does not write with lyrics (or with them in mind) and instead creates a feeling in the music. So we will re structure his lessons to allow him some more freedom with this to express himself.
• Let them explore their dreams with dream diaries. Much like a Nature Journal but something for recording dreams, either with art or writing. 
• Use History lessons as tools to embrace their memories.  As most 'Indigo' children experience and believe in reincarnation, allow them to embrace it and what better subject than History to facilitate that. Indigo children usually have a love of history, they feel their connect with certain times and places so also give them some scope in choosing what eras of history to study.
• Follow a Right Brain Learning approach.  See my previous blog post on Right Brain Learning here. 
• Give the child some control over choices of topics or time schedules and encourage mutual respect. 

I love learning new things about my child and myself. While I have always been spiritual myself, I have always overlooked that in terms of learning and our homeschooling. Thinking about it now I am not sure why, but I did.  Maybe it was because we are not religious and so did not choose curriculum that was religious, picking secular materials and common core / Australian Curriculum materials instead.  However learning about Indigo Children today and knowing how effected my son is, I think it's worth pursuing and adapting our homeschooling plan.

I am looking forward to learning more about Indigo children and implementing a new 'Intuitive Learning' approach to our homeschooling. I will be sure to let you all know how we go in the coming months. 

Cheat Sheets?

Now I know what you are thinking!  O.M.G. no she isn't is she?  LOL  It's ok, it's not the kind of cheat sheets you are thinking of.  But I use cheats!  Yes I do!  Let me explain. 

I have a child who has more than a handful of diagnosed conditions, disorders, learning problems and issues.  Ok maybe a few handfuls if the truth be told.  To get through the day, through a lesson or activity, you need some helpers or tools to make life a little easier and to overcome the hard parts so the learning sinks in and takes place. 

I say 'cheat sheet' and you think 'answer sheet' like the ones that went with test papers from school.  That's not what I am referring to (although come on mums, don't we all LOVE the workbooks that come with the answers in the back!!! I know I do!!).

These are what I call 'Cheat Sheets' :

When I find a pad of sheets that are pre filled with headings, ruled lines, templates etc that my son can look at and know where to write and how much writing is expected and if he erases words or lines then he isn't have to re draw backgrounds - then I think YES!  That's one less thing to worry about and one more thing that makes learning easier. 

Sure it might not teach my son to draw a map over and over again or rule up perfect margins on a page but really, in all honesty, is that ever going to be an issue unless he wants to become a cartographer or ahhh who rules up lines on a page these days? 

In schools kids are expected to spend as much time preparing a page as they do completing the page.  So it looks nice.  Today we value what looks nice over content in far too many aspects of life.  But why waste learning time with all that?  Isn't it better to know the content of a document or where something is on a map?  I think so. So I choose to use what I call 'Cheat Sheets' to make life that little bit easier.

As an added bonus, for those with children who have ASD or OCD issues, the repetitive nature of pre printed worksheets means less focus is on the paper, and more focus is on the work being put on the paper.  Not to mention reduced anxiety. 

The Recipe templates are fairy easy to find (I got this one from Kmart) and will be good for when we cover Food Technology a little further down the track.  The Maps were bought from Scholastic.  Perfect for our Geography lessons, history as well (Explorers routes, migration, war studies, etc etc). For less than $5 a pad (of around 50 sheets) they are a bargain as well!  

Other Cheats I use include:

Notebooking sheet downloads (they are brilliant and there are hundreds of them available online to download!)

Graph paper

Small lined recipe cards

Oh and my final tip ... Recipe template pads can easily be changed into Science Report/Experiment sheets with a few stickers placed over the headings.  If you can print sticker labels its ever easier! 

Book Review: Graphic Biographies

"Graphic Biographies" is a set of 5 books produced by RIC Publications.

These have been on my wish list for quite a while and recently I was given a fantastic opportunity to review these books and some others (future reviews) for RIC Publications. 

* I would like to say that while materials have been supplied to me, my opinions on the products are all my own, good or bad so this is not a biased review. * 

There are 5 titles in the series: 

Marie Curie

Thomas Edison

Alexander Graham Bell 

The Beatles 

Houdini

These are, by the very name of the series, Graphic Biographies. Comic Book style according to my 10 year old son.  Well laid out, not too busy, easy to read and full of information. 

When I received the books my plan was to put them aside and use them as part of unit studies, especially for the Scientists/Inventors, that I had planned for later in the term. However my son had other ideas and we ended up reading them ALL that night and the following day.  This style of book really gets the kids interested and it is not a chore at all to get them to read and learn. Just what a homeschooling mother wants! 

I am really impressed with the quality and content of the books. 

They are paperbacks, 25 pages per book and full colour with great illustration work. 

Would I recommend these?
YES! 

They are great just as readers, or for part of unit studies (for Scientists/Inventors etc), they are great for exploring text types in English and also for the child who likes to learn via special interests.  

While I don't like to promote something based on gender stereotypes, I will say that this is a GREAT pack for boys. Often as a homeschool mum, I have struggled to find educational reading books that boys really love. I feel that not only the layout and format appeals to boys (who often love comic books) but the content appealed as well.  Topics like The Beatles and Houdini are not ones you come across in reading books and my son loved them.

The books can be purchased from RIC Publications by visiting their website: 

http://www.ricgroup.com.au/product/graphic-biographies-2/

One thing to note (that I LOVE!!!!) about the RIC Publications website, is that you can view all their books before you purchase them. So don't just take my word for it, head over to their website and view the books (I also show my son) and see what's on offer. 

I love being able to share great products so hope you liked my review. 

Thanks for reading!  

Learning with Board Games!

The Board Game is often the forgotten item amongst toys, video games, books and education materials.  It can however be one of the best tools for teaching and can put some fun back into learning.

Do you use Board Games in your home? 

We have quite a lot and my only issues is finding time to play them all (and finding room to store them all!)

Here are 10 great board games that you could use as part of your curriculum: 

1. Scrabble:  Good Old Scabble! Fantastic at practising spelling, sight words & reading. Also great to play what we like to call Theme Scrabble, where the words you create have to be part of the theme like Geography or Science or from a Story or Movie. Theme Scrabble is great for unit studies and furthering topics. 
   
   
   
2. Risk:  This is a favourite here although it can get rather competitive LOL.  This one can help with everything from Geography, Wars, World Trading, to Poverty.  A recent game had my son wanting to accumulate the third world countries to help them and eradicate poverty and hunger. The conversations and learning opportunities with games is endless! 
   
3. The Great Australian Road Trip: This is one I have wanted for years and I recently bought. I was very excited to play it but my son needs to be a little older as many of the questions were too hard and with an ASD child that means a lot of frustration and refusal. However for a child/teen 12 years and over, this is a fantastic game! Covers geography, history, culture and even fun TV facts LOL. 
   
4. Trivial Pursuit:  A classic and lots of options as the game is sold in many themes. junior versions as well as the original version. If you have a child that LOVES learning random facts, they will love this one. 
   
    
5. Pictionary:  This one is also a great game to play no matter the artistic ability.  Can help a child with their drawing skills as well as their communication skills while learning more on a topic. 
   
6. Monopoly:  This one is great for helping with Mathematics! Counting out money, working out how much to pay in rents or whether to buy houses or hotels to increase revenue. So lots of financial planning and forward thinking, budgeting etc. 
   
7. The Game of Life: This one has a bit of everything really. Learning about life and talking to your kids about the future is a great thing and gets them thinking about what they might want to do in a non threatening game environment. Many kids don't think about the future too much so this is a great way to connect with your kids and bring up topics about life your might have trouble bringing up otherwise. 
   
8. Scotland Yard: Fantastic for Map reading! Practice some mapping skills while also working on detective and problem solving skills! 
   
9. UNO Stacko (Combination of Jenga and Uno):  Two great games combined in UNO Stacko. This is good for mathematics, problem solving, risk taking and as my son put it "Engineering and Structural Stability" LOL.  
   
10. Chess : Chess and games like Chinese Checkers and Backgammon help a child with their executive functioning skills, their motor planning skills and problem solving skills.  
    
    
    Now there are many more games out there and this is by no means a 'BEST' list of games, these are just the ones we love to use.  I have many many more on my wish list like Catan (so many versions!), Timeline, Cranium, Geo Dice, Travel Australia Game, Passport to Culture, World Safari, Civilisation ... the list goes on.

My aim with this post was to mention the games we use and why we use them.  As I mentioned at the start, board games get overlooked and thought of as just for fun and for spare time and rainy days.  Just remember they can be very helpful with boosting learning time, consolidating facts and helping with overall functioning and processing. 

So if you have curriculum fog, days where you (both child and teacher) are over it and needing to switch gears, try a board game! 

The Music Bus Rocks!

Today was Warrior Kids first session with Ben from the The Music Bus. 

It was brilliant! 

Let me tell you why :) 

1. Ben from the Music Bus is awesome.  My son has Aspergers amongst many other challenges, and Ben totally 'got it' and was so great at working out what angel to take and what challenges to give and how to instruct and be positive.  The huge anxiety that my son normally has with new things was not there today with Ben which was just so fantastic to see.
2. The Bus is great!  Decked out with all the gear (instruments and technology), lots of space, great quality too. It was also very safe! Back doors open to let in fresh air and light but a screen is in place to keep children from falling out or running off.
   
3. It's mobile!  The Music Bus comes to you!  We booked for private sessions so the Bus comes straight to our home. For groups the Bus goes to Schools, community halls etc.  VERY convenient.
4. Support.  The Music Bus Franchisees are supported by a main office so there are printed materials like Music Books, there is a website and social media pages for information etc as well.
5. It was easy (from a Mum perspective) as I didn't have to worry about travel, or cleaning my house or setting aside an area. I didn't have to supply anything. I didn't have to clean anything up afterwards. EASY!
6. The biggest and best reason - MY SON LOVED IT !!!  Honestly that reason alone is enough to say it was brilliant LOL.  Our sessions are first thing on a Monday morning and a great way to start our homeschooling week. My son is in his happy zone since today's session. 

So would I recommend The Music Bus to other parents? YES, YES and a huge YES! 

From a Homeschooling Mum perspective there are some added benefits to lessons with The Music Bus.  

• It covers MUSIC for those who are either not musically inclined, who might love music but don't know how to teach it
• It provides instruments for those who don't have them or the other equipment (or the room for these things) for their children to use to learn to play. 
• It comes with materials for the children who do have equipment/instruments at home to be able to practice. 
• They have levels so you are able to keep tabs on their progress for if you need to report to your state board or distance education provider. 

* Please note: This is my own personal opinion and review and I have not been paid for this or given free incentives. 

  To wrap up, we had a very positive experience with The Music Bus and are looking forward to our next session and to having a great term learning music with Ben! 

To contact The Music Bus, check out their website and their Facebook pages:

Website - http://www.themusicbus.com.au/

QLD Facebook Page - https://www.facebook.com/themusicbusqld?fref=ts

Big Ben and The Music Bus Facebook Page:  https://www.facebook.com/bigbenandthemusicbus?sk=reviews

NSW Facebook Page - https://www.facebook.com/The.Music.Bus?fref=ts

Choose you own Adventure Books - History & Maths Quest!

This type of book is my son's favourite. They present a challenge for him and for a child with very high anxiety they can sometimes prove to be very frustrating and upsetting trying to 'pick' the right path - but over all, they are his favourite.

I just got my delivery of Scholastic (Australia) Book Club catalogues and two sets that we have and love here are in there and on sale so I wanted to spread the word for other parents who might have children that love this format of books too. 

HISTORY QUEST

The History Quest 4 pack contains: 

Tomb of Terror

Medieval Mayhem

Minotaur's Maze 

Race Through Rome

These are history (obviously) books that teach while being fun! Each book is very colourful, 48 pages, has a glossary in the back and also a page titled "Taking it Further" with additional ways to continue their learning.  It is also very easy for the child to use as opposed to chapter style 'Choose your own path' books.  If the child has chosen the wrong path (by answering the question wrong) they are told and given a 'do over' option. Fantastic for children like mine who have high anxiety as they know there is a safety net option. 

MATHS QUEST

The Math's Quest 4 pack contains:

The Cavern of Clues

The Mansion of Mazes

The Museum of Mysteries 

The Planet of Puzzles

These are obviously Mathematics based books. Again, colourful and fun! Rather than answering a history question to pick the path, they need to use their Mathematics skills to problem solve and find their way. Again there are terminology sections at the back of each book and a 'Notes for Parents' page. 

Both sets are fantastic quality. Although they have different authors, they both have the same publisher QED Publishing. 

My tip if you don't have someone you know that has access to Book Club with Scholastic, is to call them and see if you can set up your own account (they will for Homeschoolers but you need to provide a certificate of homeschool registration) or ask around in Homeschool groups.  These days Scholastic have a program called LOOP which allows families to order and pay online, AND have them delivered to your home for a small shipping fee ($4.99).  You may be able to find these on other online book stores too! Try Booko.com.au as this searches many book sales sites and is great for comparing prices. 

I love sharing with friends when I find great books and these are some of our favourites. 

ASD and Homeschooling - My Autism Awareness Journey

Today begins Autism Awareness month. Over the last 5 years I spent every day of April (and many throughout the year) promoting Autism Awareness. I don't regret my daily awareness social media posts. I don't regret that because of them I have helped others become aware, recognise ASD in their own children, recognise the ASD issues in my child and help him, and ACCEPT ASD in all it's forms.

I also do not regret the many people who left my life because of those posts. The ignorant and self absorbed 'friends' who were annoyed by ONE post a day from me showing up on their news feeds. I even cut ties with family over those posts. Sending me a message to say you are 'unfriending' me on facebook because my one post a day clogged your news feed is not only an indicator of your lack of friends, but of your rudeness and general attitude which is probably the reason for your lack of friends in the first place. What I found funny was in each case, I was expected to apologise and to remain in contact with these people after the unfriending. Funny because they had to be joking right? 

 You may think that posting awareness messages was a negative thing to have lost large number of family and friends from my life over those 5 years. But that's not the case. Good riddance to them all I say. My awareness posts brought about the end of these relationships sooner rather than later and saved me a lot of wasted time and effort so it was a good way of thinning the herd.

The thing about being an ASD parent, is that you find yourself going through stages. There is the struggle before diagnosis, the bitter sweet shock and sadness at diagnosis, the grief and 'why us' stage, the confusion and finding your feet stage, the endless therapy stage, the school issues stage ... the list goes on.  Many people get stuck in the early stages and never move on from that, but many of us move through the stages and get to the acceptance stage. The place in our journey where we accept who WE are as parents, accept ASD for what it is, accept our kids for the awesome children they are, and work towards our futures. We don't look for cures, we stop reading the endless stream of articles listing causes. We stop living in the blame game, stop looking for the exit door. 

I'm at the Maintenance / Acceptance / Celebration stage. The "we've worked things out" and are managing stage, where the hard work of the past years is paying off. Where we might want to take on new challenges or just enjoy the place we are in.  We can see the good things about ASD, we can celebrate them. That's us now.

We've been through diagnosis, we've been through therapies, we've been through school issues, we've survived and found what works for us.

What works for us is homeschooling. 

Honestly, it's the biggest and best change we ever made to our lives and the benefits to the ASD issues we were facing will far outweigh any struggles we've had in finding our feet in the homeschooling journey. 

Now I will say, that homeschooling is NOT for everyone, it is NOT possible for many financially, physically or mentally.  It is not the answer for everyone with ASD. However it was the answer for us. It meant no need for medication, it meant no more depression and suicidal thoughts from my son, it meant improved health, it meant a huge reduction in anxiety, it meant less sensory overload, it meant less aggravation and frustration. Quite simply, it worked for us or I wouldn't still be doing it. We are in our 4th year of homeschooling and don't plan on stopping any time soon. It is by no means "a cure" as ASD is a way of life and a way of thinking NOT a disease, but it is the best option for us.

What improvements happened for us with homeschooling? 

• Physical changes: no more daily anxiety vomiting which meant no more stomach problems, weight gain (my son had not gained weight since he was 3.5 years old and started Kindy and was almost 7 yrs old when we started homeschooling), colour back in his cheeks, no more black bags under his eyes, sleeping through the night for the first time in his life, he smiled, he laughed, he played. He also grew a lot. Did you know, according to medical research, that anxious children have stunted growth?

• Emotional changes: my son was happy again. There was no daily tears, no anger at everything, frustration at everything, refusal of everything. He was no longer in shut down or meltdown mode every day. He would get excited rather than frightened. He was able to self regulate his emotions more and he was able to be calm and content for the first time. He was able to talk through his emotions. He felt he could really BE himself. That he wasn't being judged or singled out for his ASD issues. 

• Mental Health changes: after being suicidal, coming to us at 6 years old and asking which was the least upsetting way for a parent to find their child after ending their lives, my son's mental health did a huge back flip. He has NEVER gotten to a suicidal state since then (when we removed him from school). Even years of therapy with a psychologist had not been able to help his mental depressive state, but homeschooling did. His severe anxiety was significantly reduced and he was able to function again. No more hiding under chairs and tables, no more social withdrawal. He was chatty, he would approach people to talk and make friends, he was relaxed. One of the other huge positives, is that in your home, there is no class bully. There is no playground bully. You will probably still encounter a bully or two in a homeschool social group, but the difference being that the child has more self confidence than when at school, they have parent back up and support and the problems are dealt with directly and not brushed aside by schools. 

• Educational changes: my son has a very high IQ but struggled at school with little help and was getting C's and D's in all his subjects despite us being told he was in the highest portion of the class (doesn't THAT say something about our education system and mainstream schooling!). He was at the start of Grade 2 and could not read, spell, do basics. At home he was able to get one on one help with me, no distractions, no noise, no sensory overload, could go at his pace, could do a lot of revision work and concentrate on problem areas, could advance in areas he was good at. I could easily see where the deficits were and was able to pin point learning disorders that the school was unable to notice. We were then able to have those things tested for and diagnosed and put in learning supports and strategies. My son's first year at home we used a Distance Education school and his report card from them was straight A's and he received a Principals Academic Award. So not only were his results more reflective of his intelligence, but he was able to learn in a way more appropriate to his learning difficulties. My son now enjoys learning, he willingly gets a book to read. I can cater his education specifically to his needs.

• Sensory changes: I'd like to think that as children with sensory needs get older, that they all develop a tolerance to things that previously resulted in meltdowns or shutdowns. However this is usually a gradual process. For us, the first month at home there were huge improvements. Almost as if a switch was flicked as many issues appeared to change immediately. I think that in a school environment, EVERYTHING sensory is happening all at once and that's where the overload comes in and when the child falls apart. Many hold it together at school then come home and explode in meltdowns. Trust me, that meltdown after school child, is NOT the one you are trying to teach at home. At home, the sensory issues are somewhat separate from each other or in milder forms. There might be some noise, but it will only be one or two people talking or a TV in the background or a single light buzzing. But not 30 people talking in the classroom (with the rest of the school talking just a building away), ten lights per room buzzing, plus the noise of people walking, pencils writing on paper, paper shuffling, sniffling kids, school bell ringing, a sport class happening outside, a music class' noise filtering through the school, chairs being scuffed on the floor, a ceiling fan rattling etc. Being able to reduce the number of sensory issues is much easier at home. You already would have set up your home with their sensory needs in mind so there are lots of safe places at home for them to unwind. They will still have meltdowns but not as often, not as easily triggered and you are not as exhausted as you were in the past so can deal with them better and have a little more patience. My son can now tolerate a lot of sensory input that in the past he would not have been. 

• Social changes: while ASD children have social difficulties, they are not anti-social when in comfortable situations. Another great thing to remember is that ASD children are often selectively social. In school, children experience forced interaction which is not socialising, it is not a choice and it is not fun. This for an ASD child can be difficult to navigate and cope with. They are told they should have friends but most do not have anything in common with these peers other than sharing the same birth year. Many will withdraw, prefer to be alone, get bullied, and not enjoy 'making' friends. At school my son was bullied, he was alone most lunchtimes, he spent his play time at the library to avoid getting bullied in the playground, he did not have any friends, he was not comfortable being around others.  At home, my son is alone. He is an only child. He LOVES being alone in his OWN space. But not having forced interactions every day for 6+ hours means that he is open to being social now. When he goes somewhere he is not hiding from yet another social situation, he enjoys it and is open to making friends. He will have a conversation rather than a monotone response to answers. He will seek out children to play with. He will be present in activities rather than hiding from everything. Homeschooling can be isolating and as a parent you need to be pro-active in sourcing activities etc. There can be bad socialising experiences (and yes we experienced them and had set backs) in homeschooling but in general and in the longer term for us it has been positive and much better in terms of social development than when at school. It also means that we can have a day of being social with friends (yes homeschooling for us has meant making real friends!) and then a day of alone time at home learning to balance things out and not get too overloaded and tired. 

So homeschooling for us has not only been the answer to so many ASD issues we faced, but it has been the way for us to move forward, find happiness again and embrace being ourselves, ASD and all. 

This year, my drive to get out and educate everyone, to post daily awareness messages to everyone I know, has fallen away somewhat.  I am in a different head space.  Maybe because I am in the end stages of the process? Like many others in my situation, I feel I've passed the baton onto the next wave of ASD parents I know.  They are in the trenches right now and have the fighting spirit to get out there and spread the word.  I feel like I've done my time in the trenches, done my tours of duty. This Warrior Mum will always be a warrior, don't get me wrong, but I feel I've stepped slightly off the ASD battle field and as we currently have other medical issues to deal with and I feel my frontline experience is needed in a new battlefield next door.  It's part of being a parent I think, conquer one thing and then refocus and deal with the next. 

So I am not abandoning the Autism Awareness bandwagon, I am simply stepping aside for fresh louder voices to carry it forward. We live "ASD" every day, we spread awareness every day. 

 I'd like to finish off this post with something to watch. This children's cartoon is great to watch, great to get your children to watch and so helpful in spreading awareness, understanding and acceptance. If you are going to do anything this April for Autism Awareness month, then let this be it. If it changes or improves the way you view Autism and Aspergers in children, then this blog post was worth it. If your children learn how to be friends with an ASD child then it will make many ASD children and their parents very happy.

While our journey with ASD will never be over, and it will have it's ups and downs, it will have it's 3 steps forward and 2 steps back ..... it's not a fight for us now, it's a truce, a peace treaty. You are always on guard - but you can relax a little. At the end of the day, I hope all ASD families get to this place in their journeys too.  Having awareness, understanding and acceptance of this Diffability (Difference in Ability not Disability) is the KEY to moving forward.