As my son gets older, things have improved.
Not without a lot of hard work and effort on both his part and mine, but still maturity has helped. This year has surprised me and my son has coped with many things that were previously no go zones. He is actually taking part in some classes with other homeschoolers and making some friends. We are fitting in lots of activities. I was sitting here last night so proud of all the things we are now able to do. I thought I should blog about that tomorrow.
Then we woke up.
And I changed my mind.
Today was instead a very clear reminder that Aspergers and Anxiety, and their resulting meltdowns, still live here.
As much as yesterday was fantastic, it was obviously too much. How stupid of me to think that we could get school work done today on our 'calm at home day'. Yesterday was Music, Therapy, Art and more music as well as play time with friends. Every Monday this term has been this way, it's our out and social day. He has coped great for weeks and I have been so happy about that.
But the role of the Special Needs Mother never goes away and today I was made well aware that we were still on the rollercoaster. I have officially written today off. So much for my planning till midnight last night hey!
I think that the 'improvements with maturity' also apply to my parenting. In the past I would have kept trying through the day to get work done. Now I know there is no point hitting your head against a brick wall. In the past I would have maybe re planned our Mondays so there is not as much on. Now I know to implement some calm down strategies through the day as we go (even though he seems to be coping ok at the time) and to not expect that Tuesdays will be productive work wise.
I think back to my son's diagnosis 6 years ago, and to the mothers in online support groups who all said that things change and improve as they get older and I thought hhhmmm really? Thinking about it though, they do. The ASD doesn't go away, but how much my son copes with and matures changes and how I parent and learn from past issues changes too.
I just need to remember that with all the changes and improvements happening on our journey, somethings will always remain the same. One - that Aspergers is always there. Two - we always continue to grow, mature and improve. Three - I will always be a very proud Special Needs Mother to an amazing much loved son.
Now I am off to go and deal with a child having a difficult day. Currently covered by a blanket fort having difficulty making a decision on what DVD to watch and what he wants for lunch, as currently nothing is quite 'right' and it's all too much and too stressful. I need to take my Warrior Mum Super Hero cape out of the wardrobe and off the hanger.
The 'Bat Signal' is switched on and Gotham needs me.